You Can Do What You Do - Part 2

In 2016, I'd become fit over several years by losing weight through eating right and running -- yes running.  I had been focusing on the lives of my children while neglecting being physically active, for maybe 15 years. My last two kids were fairly self-sustaining, in college part time, and having assessed my state, I decided running would not kill me, and that I was healthy enough to give it a go.
This blog from 2016 chronicles my conclusion (http://faithinfusedlife.blogspot.com/2016/02/you-can-do-what-you-do.html) that what you practice you become better at, and that it really can be that simple.  For me, at that time, though not what I'd call "easy" (it surely was a commitment,) the relationship between determination to keep placing one foot in front of the other, and health was simple. And it paid off. I was running for several years, had a new outlook, chased my grandbabies without issue.
Then injuries set in.
The one that took me down was Plantar Fasciitis in both feet.  PF is, in my case, an overuse injury.  I ran too far too abruptly.
I tried the various approaches to getting better, but it got worse. Running through it was not an option.  In the course of my attempts to get better, I decided not to run - I was so desperately hoping that if I rested it it would actually get better.  It has..... but it hasn't.  It's a lingering plague.  It's been close to 2 years.
Well, my podiatrist tells me that some people just run through it.  I'm at the cusp of a decision to try.  My feet are stubborn. I've had Physical Therapy - it is very expensive and can go on forever, and though there was some improvement, it just didn't want to go away completely. So I've come to the conclusion that the rest isn't helping at this point.  It's time to get back on the road - or try anyway.  Dieting, for me, has never resulted in more than negligible weight loss without exercise. PLUS I LOVE to go out at 6am (oh it can be a shove to get myself out that door) and hear my footfall, smell the grass and dirt, take in the stars, PRAY, and watch the sun come up.  I have many many pictures that I posted on FB of the most beautiful God paintings from my days as a runner.  I have found no substitute for the time I spend with Him out on the neighborhood streets a few mornings a week.
If all I do is walk, I know enough to be assured that however far I go walking, I'm nearly as fit as if I ran the same distance.  So walking, if it's all I manage, still affords me a beautiful light show and a time of talking to my Lord about His art.  I need that grounding. I crave it.
So, I'm putting this out there. I'm going to try.  There is no health like that gotten from fitness. And when I am fit, I feel wonderful. 
I'll start with walking with short spurts of running.  Over time, the proportions will reverse.  God willing, it will get easier and then pay off.  I'll chronicle my progress here.  I take pics of sunrises, and I'll put them up here.  I get revelations from my talks with Him on my runs, and those will go here too. Dear Lord please help me!

Good Men

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.  Edmund Burke

You're a Christian.  Don't buy into the implication that the only recourse to injustice is to be meek. It's a lie meant to silence you. Things that are unjust must be dragged into the light, not hidden; not ignored.  When salt has lost it's savor it is no good but to be trampled underfoot.  
You can believe that those whose ends justify the means have no problem speaking up.  You need to speak up if Christ is in your heart.  He is entitled to a human voice to influence a human world.  We cannot sit back and ignore the dark.  If you are paying attention to what is going on; if you feed your spirit with fellowship, prayer and the Word; if you feel your indignation to the injustice around you welling up within you to speak out, then it is your duty to do so thoughtfully and unequivocally. 
Be compassionate. do your research. Consider carefully. But speak out when evil, or just plain carelessness with the effect of evil, presents itself.  Evil that goes unchallenged lives on, even grows.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.  Edmund Burke

Prayer for a New Home Owner

Photo Credit: @CynthiaJamesPhotography

I have paint on my elbow, on the floor of my tub, and on the flange in my kitchen sink.  The main portions of my home are now spotless, the newly installed carpet is vacuumed first thing each morning, as daily, since last Sunday, I have made myself scarce while a different realtor and family have walked through my home to determine if it is for them: This home that Dan designed where we brought up 5 children; this home where Charlie and Sam were raised from birth; where the pantry door jam documents the height of our babies and our ferrets. 

I have ordered a new window pane to replace the one that was broken during the airsoft war Charlie and his friends waged in the back yard.  My faithful friend Ana carefully painted the closet where D.J. would pile blankets for a nest at night. We left the clouds that Meghann and I painted on the ceiling during her preteen years - left it for children who it will certainly delight. I've painted over the message to D.J. from Brian, written in toothpaste on the inside of their bathroom cupboard.   I gently removed the vinyl shoeprint stickers I'd placed on the hardwood floor so little Sam and Charlie would put their tiny shoes where I could find them. We have installed trim in the places that we were always too busy living our lives to trim before.

Our children have now grown up and moved away to live out lives and values that were nurtured within the walls of this home.  It's been 5 months of full time work preparing this home to be sold, and throughout I sensed that it isn't chance that will determine who walks in and decides to purchase it.  It has been lovingly prepared, specially for one family whom God wants to bless.  This is not just a place. It's an atmosphere where God has been continuously welcomed since 1994.  Many blessings have taken place in this home. So too have many challenges to our humanity.  And the love remains.

We are not just preparing a neutral living space for an unknown group of people. In my mind, there is a particular family for whom we've been preparing. Each room we've taped off, painting with care, replacing switch plates, and attending to details. We are preparing a Gift, from God to them.  It's been done with love, soberly, knowing there is a reason it is for them specifically, and that they will happen upon our home on the day appointed.

So now we wait and anticipate.  On the other side of this decision of the recipients, Dan and I will move on, with only pictures of our former home, and the memories that remain. The next chapter of our lives will begin with grown children, grandchildren, and grandbabies to come.  But for this family, it is a new beginning in what used to be 'our' home that has been covered in prayer for 24 years, and lovingly prepared for them.

Adventures Ahead at the Brick House

We are at a turning point.  Dan and I have been preparing this house, where we've lived for 24 years, to put on the market.  The only things I have left to do is caulk the tubs and paint parts of the outside. Dan has a longer list than I. The roof contractor comes Monday. 
As I look around, I'm no longer nostalgic. I'm just "finished." I want to present this home to its next owner, pristine and complete.  These  walls are painted, sufficient furniture and paintings just so, while the home that we've gutted and prepared to occupy next is filled-to-the-gills with stuff that, if here, would hinder the staging of this home for sale.  The other house, "The Brick House," looks like an explosion - one I cannot attend to until this house is on the market. Then I must go through 24 years of belongings, culling them until I can stand to live around what remains.
So..... the job is nowhere near done, but what we've done here is (near) done.  And it's beautiful.  The photographer comes next week. The inside is so pretty - unlike it ever was while we've made our memories in it.  The front door is painted aqua and ocean paintings throughout are a hint of what pleases me.
I pray that this is a gift to someone that is beyond their expectations. I imagine that the care we've given this task was specifically planned by Him to give a certain family pleasure - that they've wanted this very home for some time, and that they'll know it the moment they see it. 
Last October, Dan approached me, and then my daughter and son-in-law, Jimmie, with his "idea," which we have since worked toward as an inspiration - a prophecy to be fulfilled. He and I would sell our home, which we'd before planned to stay in forever, and purchase his mom's, in a nearby neighborhood that required near-gutting and renewing.  Meghann and Jimmie'd outgrown their home with 4 children, and dreamed of renting it out. They would rent from us in Nana's house,  now "The Brick House," and we would each occupy a half.
I'm happy to say we're coming to the next stage in this journey.  In one week, it'll be on the market and we can turn our attention to constructing a master bath in the home we're moving into - the last requirement in this process that began last October.  This has been my job, day in and day out. I'm often reminded of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and that we've dwelled for the last 9 months in the bottom - the most basic of needs - physiological - preparing our new part of the world to provide food, warmth and rest. His theory is that, when you occupy that spot in the hierarchy, you cannot move on to anything else until you have securely attained those basic things.  It's what all my energy is given to, from the time I awaken every day.
What we have accomplished! And now I will pass this home on to a God-chosen family, knowing what awaits me at the Brick House - as I move on to what Maslow would call "belongingness and love," sharing coffee in the sunroom with my lovely daughter, her kind husband and 4 sunshiney girls. 

The Silence

The silence that follows leaving a church can be palpable.  Oh it's limited, thankfully, to just a few people who previously applied great effort to behave like "family"; then when something happened they did not have a front row seat to, suddenly turned eerily silent.  Trouble is, it resembles a shunning - behavior that poorly represents the reality that the Body of Christ is not just a single church, but a worldwide fellowship.
I'm reminded of a message preached by my former pastor.  "Don't carry another's offense," he told us.  He related an example of being maligned in secret by a brother in a church where he preached as a traveling evangelist.  For years, when he ran into several people, they all treated him icily, and he had no way to know why.  He searched his soul to see if he had somehow offended, and remained baffled and hurt.  Once it was finally revealed, it all made sense.
Unfortunately, carrying the offense of another within a church is all too common, especially when a family finds it necessary to break away - a heartbreaking decision at its core.  Don't carry another's offense: a simple, merciful and necessary piece of advice. You don't know what happened, even if you think you heard one side of the story.  People sift their experiences through their own insecurities - and you get the processed version.  If there is integrity there, you'll not hear either side.  Sowing division in the church is Biblically discouraged and, as mentioned before, "the church" is bigger than yours.  The conflict is likely not for your ears, and it's perpetuation is destructive.
Secondly, splits are painful to both sides - you have to consider the motive of the one who "shares" their offense.  If the sharer is compelled because they fear shouldering blame, and must blame the other to you, then again - it was processed through insecurity.  The result is not harmony in the body, but schism.
No, we must learn to accept that there will be comings and goings.  Handling them with grace is a decision, and all who witness this have their part in that decision.  We must trust that not every membership is forever; not every split blameworthy, and it is usually not our job to blame anyway. Handling splits without integrity speaks poorly of the churched, who are supposed to be known by the love one shows for another.

The Archer and the Cocoon

So, I've lived my life constructing this cocoon. I've picked and chosen the best things whenever possible - things I've tried and found to be supportive of my faith, what I know deep down to be true. And I think that was right. With my hand in God's, to the best of my ability, I think I carried out His vision for my home and my family.
But God is bigger than me. His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor His plans mine. He very recently challenged my view of my future and, abruptly jolted me out of comfort into an unknown one. I'd had the audacity to assume I had it figured out - me and God - we were in synch, this was His plan, and it would remain so. He put up with that notion for a bit, but now he is changing me. And it hurts. It's scary. And new and wonderful at the same time. But it's both. Wouldn't it be fine if it was always wonderful, but it's not. It's both.
Parts of me have relocated, and I'm tempted to replicate where I came from. But God told Lot, "Don't look back." Am I looking back? Or am I using the gifts God gave me for their purpose? I don't know yet. I know what I know how to do, but I don't know my next steps.
Well, I know enough to stay put until I'm told to proceed. I grieve for those I left behind, my humanity telling me that I need them - how can I possibly go on without them. And then God gives me the experience of being ministered TO, as opposed to ministering, which I've done for 14 years plus. And he places a person there who immediately senses my struggle and has the confidence not to take it personally, but to probe the source: A new person; someone completely unknown to me, who represents the new life that, 6 months ago, I had no idea I'd be entering.
Only God. That is what I'm floored by. Only God has so many arrows in His quiver - you think you have everything you need - but He supersedes your knowledge and when God chooses an arrow, He doesn't miss. I'd no idea I needed her.
Thank you, God, for this salve while you move me on. I'll try not to look back. Help me to only hear Your voice. I don't want to follow any other.

Happiness and God's Purpose

Such a trivial assumption, when we ask, "Doesn't God want me to be happy?" Our personal happiness isn't where God starts.   Though, He is a good God, as when we yield our lives and purposes to Him, a fruit that results is joy and peace, among others.  God calls individuals for His distinct purpose, which may or may not immediately manifest as  stereotypical "happiness" or comfort in you, in your life as you planned it. But its results are eternal.
Certainly, when He spoke of Abraham, he said, "For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him," which was his son, Isaac, in the years of Abraham and Sarah's old age, to produce the Hebrew people, through which God would bring about His intentions for the world.  God had his Own purpose, and He chose Abraham  through whom to achieve it. (Gen.18:19)
God did not blow sunshine on Paul when he got his attention by blinding him on the road to Damascus.  "But rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things I will yet reveal to you." (Acts 26:16)  God chose Paul as a witness - not so he could make him feel good and find stereotypical happiness with a life of no challenge.  Paul faced many challenges - yet as expressed before, so also came joy, as a result of his obedience to, and participation in, God's purpose.
Each of us may choose to live out our life reaching for what we, in our limited vision, perceive as happiness; or giving the wheel to One who sees all, and can make us part of a story that is far bigger than ourselves.

Poison

Fitness to a task (or a relationship) - it's there or it's not.  It's not always that another person is a horrible monster. Sometimes it's that you yourself are not fit to abide them.  We're all on this earth for a purpose. We must find our purpose, what we are fit to accomplish, and apply ourselves to the task.
When we take on a task or relationship that exceeds our strengths, the task/relationship can poison our effectiveness, thwart our progress, and leave us damaged, unfit for our God-given task, which then does not get done, or done well.
It is not a failure to acknowledge our limitations, but a triumph, and a necessity.  We may wish we were fit to a particular task, but we abandon our real mission if we allow chasing the diversion to weary us into ineffectiveness.
Don't give in to the tendency to see it as failure to reject the task or relationship in favor of your primary purpose.  See it as having been led to the best path, while rejecting what was never meant for you to begin with, or which now exceeds your ability to  maintain.